My Fridge is Plotting to Kill Me: A Piece of Fiction from My Very Vivid Imagination

Daily Prompt: Wronged Objects

If your furniture, appliances, and other inanimate objects at home had feelings and emotions, to which item would you owe the biggest apology?

Hahahahaha! Yes, I am laughing at today’s prompt. The first thing that popped into my mind when reading the prompt is the refrigerator.

The fridge stays full of food and is in a constant state of food coming and going from it. I also am guilty of the opening the door, looking in for a moment trying to decide what I want to eat or make and then closing the door, walking away with nothing. The refrigerator is easily the most used appliance in our home.

It gets stuffed to the gills when I am preparing food for an event and often I am left wondering where I am going to store that next dish (I have to admit to resorting to calling up my neighbor many times and filling his fridge as well). I probably could admit to being able to use a second fridge but then the first one might get jealous. It already drops frozen packs of leftover vegetarian chili on my bare toes, leaving me hopping around, yelling less than desirable words of pain and disgust at the offending appliance.

Yes, I realize my fridge is an inanimate object with absolutely no feelings or thoughts on how I treat it. BUT, what if it does have feelings and a thought process? I do believe it would be plotting to murder me, which might be why it let the forgotten bowl of mashed potatoes hiding in the back corner of the top shelf spoil. It knows by now that mashed potatoes are one of my favorite foods.

And I have always wondered why the milk in the door goes bad faster than when sitting on the shelf. Logic tells me it is because the door is the furthest point away from the cool area and closest to the warm air, so it all makes perfect sense the milk for go bad quicker there than inside. BUT, maybe it is my fridge is making another attempt on my life with a good case of food poisoning for all my thoughtless actions.

I attempt to pamper the fridge with a spa day 6 to 8 times per year, sometimes more. I completely clean it out and massage wonderful smelling cleaners into it’s every crevice, making it all bright and clean. All the old containers and that wilted carrot from the veggie drawer go bye-bye in the beauty makeover. I mop up the spills and install in a fresh new box of baking soda for odor control. It is the only way to make sure our fridge does not become a science experiment full of bacteria and yucky stuff.

So to you my beautiful white refrigerator, I give my extreme humble apology for abusing you so, please don’t kill me. While I will attempt to do things better in the future, I am not making a promise because I fear it is a promise I cannot keep. Instead, just remember I saw that sexy new stainless side-by-side with twice the room the other day while hiking through Home Depot and while I do love you, the shiny twinkle and the lure of more space still continues to linger in the back of my mind.



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