I got blindsided by a comment from a friend the other day. When we met, she mentioned she liked to surround herself with talented, artistic people because she felt she herself had no talent. I just laughed and told her that she hadn’t found her medium or way of expressing it just yet. A few months later at a BBQ, she was telling someone else about our conversation and looked dead at me and said “it’s not that I haven’t found my medium, it’s that I have no desire to do any of those things and I wish you wouldn’t say stuff like that to me.”
I have to admit to being floored. Who doesn’t want to grow and learn new things? It’s not saying she has to run out and become an artist or writer or anything. It’s just the fact she is unwilling to even attempt anything new. The unwillingness to even attempt something she admires in others and complains constantly that she doesn’t have. Everyone has some type of artist inside them, it’s just whether we keep it bottled up or attempt to let it out.
It also makes me sad because I am the type of person who wants friends around who encourage me to grow and I want friends who are willing to grow. In my opinion, friends should always be the people who want to see the best in you and urge me to be the best I can be, while also challenging me to grow. Growth is important and those who stop growing are stunted in their thoughts, ideas, and actions.
I challenge myself to continue growing and learning as well, because I believe we can never get enough of this huge wonderful world we live in. Sometimes, somethings scare me but I keep pushing at ways to find my way through and beat the fear. I know the unwillingness to learn and grow is just fear. It’s fear that we might fail or might learn some things about ourselves that is less than great. But failure at times is a guarantee, it’s what helps us learn and grow more. And those things we might learn are not so great about ourselves, are changeable, if we are willing to grow.
It’s when we refuse to move, to get out the rut, to step outside of our comfort zone that we stop growing and become stunted. And when we become stunted, we become so much less than the possible potential we have. We become less of the awesome person, trapped inside. We forget to look for the good in life and settle for less than the best.
I’m happy I refuse to settle for less than the best for myself. I’m happy that I’m capable of challenging myself and those around me to be the best they can be. It drives my wonderful hubby crazy at times. Sometimes it gets me as well, but it is that refusal to settle and the love of life and growth that helps to make me who I am. And while I have a lot of work ahead, I do know I’m on the right path for being who I want to be instead of sitting on the sidelines, wishing and dreaming. Instead I’m working to make my dreams a reality.
My Journey to Find Me 
I’ve seen this a lot too because I seem to like to encourage people to better themselves. It’s a shame that person is so bothered by their insecurity. Though, who knows, maybe this person does have a “medium,” but they don’t feel comfortable sharing. Artists always feel that for some reason, and overcoming that tends to be even harder than improving their art itself.
Well I tend to agree with being reluctant to share my own pieces with the world. I think as an artist it’s often we feel the piece is never good enough or quite finished but not so sure that is what is going on in this case. It would appear to be other issues but who knows.
You know, I think you are right. This does sound more like that person received the wrong type of encouragement at some point in their life, something that could have hurt them in some way.
Axel, I agree completely.