It’s been awhile since I posted on here. I’m still on my journey but have been spending less time online and more time in the real world to discover who that is.
I’m finding as I go along, the need to find the middle ground more and more. It’s funny for me to say that because I’ve always been a person who sees the bigger picture and both sides of an argument. Which is why I find it funny that it’s hard to find the middle ground for myself.
I’ve always been a person who let people run over me and do whatever they pleased. I just tried not to make them unhappy. One of the unfortunate side effects of being abused. If you don’t make people unhappy, you are less likely to be abused when in fact the exact opposite of that scenario is the real truth. People running all over you is another type of abuse and does nothing for making a person feel better.
The result of all this is I am working on no longer allowing people to run all over me and take advantage. I’m learning to say no to situations that don’t make me feel good and to people who are actually no good for me in my life.
The hard part of all this is getting rid of the people who are already in my life doing this. It’s hard to say goodbye to someone you felt was a friend and to realize they never really were or they wouldn’t have treated you that way. It’s also hard to stand up and say “NO, I’m not taking this anymore and here is why.” It’s also hard to know I’m losing another person in my life even if they weren’t healthy for me.
I’ve found that so far, I’ve been right in cutting loose the people I’ve realized are no good because of the over the top reactions when I finally say something. The denial that they could have done anything wrong and that I have to be crazy and that I’m the one with the problems.
It hurts but the huge relief I feel when it’s over, makes me know I did the right thing and that these people were just dragging me down and holding me back. I do feel sorry for my hubby for having to go through it with me because he sometimes ends up on the receiving end from these people, but I hope he understands it just something that I must do for myself and that it does help so much in the end.
Now I’m learning what I can live with and what I can’t when it comes to other people. That’s the part about finding the middle ground, cause no one is perfect and I have to figure out what I’m willing to accept in people and what I’m not. It’s never good to be at one extreme or the other, being in the middle is always just right and the best for living a fun, happy life, which is one of the most important goals for me on the path of loving myself.