I am questioning myself more each day. I realize a lot of what I am hearing from others is reflections of them and their issues but I also wonder why people have such a problem with me and my ideas. Why is it so foreign to others that some actually are not out to use others, are liars, really do care, and are just themselves?
It seems like the majority of relationships I have been in whether it is family, friendships or lovers, have issues when someone is just themselves, not trying to play games. Everything starts out well and then as time goes by, the relationships start having issues because I take to good of care of others and choose to just be myself, expressing my independent opinions and such. I do not ask others to conform to my ideas or thoughts. I do like having the right to express myself as well as to listen to others, learning from them. But it always seems to cause problems sooner or later. I am not sure why.
It seems that we live in a society which does not appreciate anyone who does not follow the path of the popular thought. It also seems like we live in a society that believes everyone is out to use everyone else for their own gain. Where lying is okay and condoned by the majority. It seems to me for me to get along, I need to conform to all of these things or continue to lose the people in my life. It is the only idea of I have about what happens because no one who leaves ever says what their problem was. They just start acting like strangers with a bad attitude and finally just disappear. Even my family expects me to conform to their ideas which are not healthy or not have them in my life. I find it sad that most people do not want people in their lives who truly give a damn about them and what is going on in their lives, do not lie to them, and actually believes there is more to life than reality TV and drama.
I just want to live, to surround myself with others who allow me to be me, for them to be themselves, for people not to get attitudes for no clear reason or if they have a reason be open about it and deal with it, and to enjoy life for all it has to offer without lies and drama. Is that too much to ask for in this world?