Sometimes I think the mental game is the hardest one to conquer. Our brains are just wired to think the negative. I feel myself getting better and stronger all the time, it is becoming so much easier to let things go now and not dwell on them. Some mornings though I just wake up sad and tired of the struggle to keep a positive game face on. I am sure we all ask this question at some points in our lives: “Why does everything have to be so hard?”
Sometimes it seems like even with all the therapy, the healing, the learning to understand yourself, and the growing still does not make much of a difference in the amount of heartache and pain you receive. Sometimes it sucks that our lives are so dependent on the actions and words of others whether we like it or not. I do understand that another person’s actions and words are not about me but it does not stop those thoughts or actions from hurting just the same. I know and understand my happiness is my own and how I let others affect it is my fault. But what do we do when the ones we love and trust are the ones who hurt us the most?
For me I am letting it all go. Letting go, lifts a heavy weight off my soul and does allow me to feel better but it does not take away the sadness, the knowing that it will probably happen again. Letting go helps me to move on not staying with the issue the way I used to only hurting myself. Today was a sad day when I woke up but now I am going to let that go as well and move on into a brighter day as the sun comes up over the buildings this morning, washing everything clean with brilliant white light as another day of healing starts.