The Struggle for Family Acceptance


I am struggling to release myself from the imagine my family seems to have me stuck in.  They keep fighting for nothing to change including me and yet they have no interest in getting to know, understand, or accept the person I am today.  I find myself being sucked back into the negative connotations and self-image I had the longer my sister visits.  I love her very much but she refuses to let go of things and to stop telling me who I should be and how to live my life.  I have a good life.  One that I worked very hard to build and am still working on everyday.  I find myself feeling the resentment building back up because I just want my family to get to know me and to allow me to be me without all the judging and contempt that I am not doing things the way they believe I should.  I also do not understand all the negativity, how everything I like or want is wrong and I should think and feel another way.  I know I used to think I probably knew what was better for everyone else but I realize I do not.  People have to be allowed to live and make their own decisions without other judging them all the time.  I have learned to allow people to be who they are and make their own decisions about their life and just be there to support them with those decisions, whatever that support is.  Why is it so hard for those in my family to just love me without judging and support me in the things I want out of life without those things always being wrong?  I am not stupid and I can make good decisions.  I do know what I want from my life and those are all good things.  It is sad I am going to have to do all of those things without any support and love from my family.  In some ways I feel myself still trying to prove myself to them.  It is just sad they will never be a part of the good things in my life because they do not believe in me or those things.

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