Standing Still in Silence


I’ve tried to get my brain back and focused on all the projects I am in the middle of and have not finished yet.  Sometimes I find it hard to see my potential anymore or what is special about me.  I know that I am smart but it all seems like it is being wasted while I just sit back and let it slip away.  I don’t know how to stop it, keep trying to be motivated and get back into my groove of things, to find the passion about life again.  This year has just been a very rough year and I have lost my sense of purpose of the course of it.  I felt like I was on a good path for finding myself but it seems to have stalled.  Everyone keeps saying not to worry, that everything I have been through this year will cause a few issues like that and just to focus on getting better.  For me though, I just sit here trying to get myself back going because I do not feel like I am contributing to life the way I ought to be.  I know I place a lot of pressure on myself to do more and be better.  I have obligations to others and myself and I feel like I am getting none of them done yet.  I don’t know what to do because I feel very lost now, like I am standing at a crossroads in the path of what to do with myself and just don’t know which way to go.  I have always just been able to push ahead and get there but now I am completely halted, standing still.  I need to get moving again, it’s the only thing I know how to do, I guess you could say I have a problem with the standing still and the silence.  Maybe learning to be okay with the silence and the not moving is what I am supposed to learn at this moment before I can get to moving again.

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