“You’ve Got Cancer”

Yesterday was one of the scariest days of my life.  Today, I really still do not know what to think or to feel just yet.  I am not sure that anything in life will ever prepare you for a phone call that ends up with the words “You have cancer” coming from the other side.  I’m not one of those over dramatic people who wants everyone to feel sorry for me or to treat me any differently and I think that is one of the things that I am afraid of.  I’m still me.  And yes I might be a sick me right now, but I don’t feel sick and I don’t look sick.  I’m scared right now.  I’m to young to die.  I’m only 37. I guess that in many ways I am questioning what did I do to deserve this.  In that aspect, I’m sure that I am no different from anyone else who has ever been in this predicament.  I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do or feel right now.  I cry a good bit but I still feel numb.  I guess that I will figure it all out when the numbness wears off.


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