Sometimes I wonder what it takes to get someone to think for themselves.  To see that they are stuck and doing nothing to help themselves.  I know what everyone is going to say.  You can’t do anything, they have to want it themselves and I know that is true.  It is so hard for me to give up on someone.  I keep trying different ways to find something that will work.  But I am being to believe that this is someone I might have to give up on.  Some people never understand until they lose what they have, even then that does not get them to get out of their rut.  I guess that it was wrong of me to ask them to try it my way.  I was hoping for a break through.  Maybe something new for once.  I usually always back off and let it go but I didn’t this time.  I wanted to try it a different way, in the hopes that maybe something would finally get through.  I failed again!  Sometimes I get so tired of trying to find ways to get through.  Sometimes I just want to give up and cry.  I love this person very much and see what it would be possible to have.  But sometimes I just wonder if it’s all an illusion that looks great until I get to close and then it disappears into thin air once more.  Maybe it’s time that I stopped trying.  It’s not like he hasn’t told me that enough.  I didn’t really believe that he really wanted me to stop trying but I’m beginning to think that maybe I had it all wrong.  Maybe he really does want me to give up.  I’m sorry that I pushed so hard tonight, I was trying to see if something would make a break through happen, something that this relationship desperately needs.  I didn’t know what else to do, I’ve tried everything else.  I was just hoping for a break through, something that I really need now so that I can keep believing in this and us.  So that I can believe that I’m not putting myself through this for nothing.  That it is real and worth doing this for.


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