I used to be a person that could make anything happen that anyone asked on me, including myself. Today, I am having problems finding and keeping that focus in myself. The fog is lifting off of my brain but it is still hard for me to pick a direction and move in it. I feel like I am still being pulled in multiple directions by all the things that I would like to do. I used to be able to complete many different directions at once and get it all done. And now I am having problems being pulled in more than just two or three.
A lot of this journey to rediscover myself and who I really am is taking a bit longer then I thought it would. Finding the focus and direction again is hidden in the lack of self-confidence in my abilities or the people around me at the moment. I have come to understand that I am a smart person and capable of pretty much anything I put my mind to. But strangely understanding that seems to have made me less capable at the moment. Things were easier when I did not realize that I am smart and I was striving to prove myself. I don’t feel the need to prove myself to everyone else anymore, just to myself. For myself, I need to find my focus, my confidence in the world around me and in myself. I don’t feel confident in myself at the moment because of all the uncertainties in my life. So today I am going to keep wandering down the path and searching for myself, confidence, happiness, acceptance, and love.