On the Search for Me


I used to be a person that could make anything happen that anyone asked on me, including myself.  Today, I am having problems finding and keeping that focus in myself.  The fog is lifting off of my brain but it is still hard for me to pick a direction and move in it.  I feel like I am still being pulled in multiple directions by all the things that I would like to do.  I used to be able to complete many different directions at once and get it all done.  And now I am having problems being pulled in more than just two or three. 

A lot of this journey to rediscover myself and who I really am is taking a bit longer then I thought it would.  Finding the focus and direction again is hidden in the lack of self-confidence in my abilities or the people around me at the moment.  I have come to understand that I am a smart person and capable of pretty much anything I put my mind to.   But strangely understanding that seems to have made me less capable at the moment.  Things were easier when I did not realize that I am smart and I was striving to prove myself.  I don’t feel the need to prove myself to everyone else anymore, just to myself.  For myself, I need to find my focus, my confidence in the world around me and in myself.  I don’t feel confident in myself at the moment because of all the uncertainties in my life.  So today I am going to keep wandering down the path and searching for myself, confidence,  happiness, acceptance, and love.

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