Hopes and Dreams

Well Thanksgiving is over and I actually didn’t eat too much for the first time.  I’m really happy about that, I am working hard to lose this weight that I have gained over the course of this year.  It is amazing what stress can do to the body and soul.  I’m still stressed out but I’m working to get free of it more and more everyday.  I feel lately like the fog is lifting off of my brain and I’m starting to function better.  I took pictures on Thanksgiving morning for the first time in a while.  It was very cold out but awesome.  It made me feel alive again and anxious to get things back on track.  It was the first time in a long time that things felt completely at peace and normal with my partner and I.  It happened again a few more times over the course of the weekend.  It made me feel hopeful again that maybe things would work out but I must admit I look on it a little jaded.  I miss having him around like that, it’s such a wonderful feeling.  But each time it happens, it seems like it ends in such a short while and things are back in turmoil again.  I like the loving part, I want the honesty of a great relationship without all the crap that has gone along with it.  I want him to be healthy so that our relationship can as well.  But mainly I just want him to be healthy for himself so that he can have a great life as well, whether it’s with me or not.  We all have issues, it doesn’t mean that everyone doesn’t deserve a good life filled with their hopes and dreams.  I look forward to seeing my own come true and I am working hard to make that happen.


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