~As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. ~Emmanuel
I have worked on renewing my spiritual practice with myself as a way to find peace and acceptance of the things that I cannot change in my life. It is helping me to become more tolerant, patient, and to learn to love myself completely. I feel the inner confidence and strength growing more everyday but it is different this time than before. Before the confidence was there and liked to show itself to the world, it was louder and more flashy. This time it does not feel the need to have to be seen by the world, it feels like something that is going to be strong enough that no one can tear it down. This strength and confidence only needs me to exist, it does not rely on others to help it be better or stronger. I am becoming more accepting of the faults within myself and finding ways to nurture the pain and losses that I experienced. They are becoming less each day. I feel a much deeper love for myself and the others I love growing more each day. And while I still struggle with trying to understand why some things happen or why someone does some of the things they do, I am learning that some things just are. It does not matter whether I understand why things happen, things just are what they are. This world is a cruel place if you let it get to you but there is so much beauty, acceptance, and love found when looking in the right places. Finding those people and places is sometimes difficult for me but I am learning to recognize what is good and what is not. I am learning to have the faith and trust in me to know that my intuition and instincts are right, I should have trusted them all along. I am not what is wrong with this world but what is right.