The Struggle With My Family


I’m struggling with the abuse and abandonment of my family now.  I did talk to my sister the other day about some of what has gone on, seeking a little understanding.  She doesn’t get it or understand it, much less even really cares to, she is so wrapped up in her on world.  I don’t want to keep talking about it all with them, but I would like for them to at least acknowledge that it happened not keep sweeping things under the rug.  It is the past but I need to past recognized by them, I think mostly so I don’t feel like I’m completely crazy.  All that stuff did happen!  Sometimes I feel like it’s all been in my imagination, since I am the only one who seems to know that it happened.  My Dad is so wrapped up in another woman he has forgotten his kids once again.  I mentioned it to my sister and she just blew it off as normal and ok.  It’s not ok, it’s not ok for a Dad to forget his kids just because he is with someone new.  And the rest of them really just don’t give a shit, they choose to keep my ex around rather than me. I know that I am 36 years old but I still need some stability and support from my family.  Unfortunately it looks like I am just going to need to get along without them.  I really don’t want superficial relationships anymore, I want ones that are part of something real not made up.  I need honesty, love, support, understanding, and people willing to let me be me, not keep telling me how I should be or act.  I am me and it’s time for my family and whoever else to accept it and stop trying to change me into something I’m not.  It seems so hard to find relationships and people in this world who are just themselves and not pretending to be someone else or lying through their teeth all the time.  Life is too short to go around having to be constantly on guard in your own home about what you are going to say and how you are going to live.  I am not a bad person, I do screw up and make mistakes sometimes but I try to live my life doing good not harm and I think that is the best that I can do.  I am what is right in the world, not what is wrong with it.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s