Inside My Head


I’ve spent most of my life living out of my head, refusing to let myself feel.  I could explain almost everything through logic and it got me through.  It is how I survived some of the experiences I have and managed to come out on the other side.  I am a very scarred person because of the things that have happened and been done in my life.  Since that day I woke, I have been striving on a path with the goal of uniting my head with my feelings, to wake up and experience life not just live it through my head.  I am learning to once again trust my intuition and allow myself out of the box in my head.  It has been a hard path to learn, when I let myself out, I let myself out with no barriers or layers to protect me from the world around me.  That has caused some pain, the growing pain bumps, learning that I can live out in the world and let my feelings out without getting hurt but that takes a few small barriers.  Life is full of people who always feel the need to blame others for their unhappiness, to not take responsibility for anything they do.  I am learning to understand not to take these people personally, it’s kinda hard when it is directed at you to understand that it is still not you.  Honesty is another very hard thing to find, people seem to believe they need to lie about everything, even the stupidest little things that make no sense.  But it is all a learning process, one that I am actually happy to be going through.  I am not sure what is on the other side of the process, but I am looking forward to finding out.

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